A man has been supported online after sharing that the reason why he did not want his parents, who are in a polycule relationship with a man his age, to attend his upcoming wedding.
The 26-year-old man had taken to Reddit to share that he's getting married soon, and added that he absolutely doesn't want his parents who are in their 50s to attend. The Reddit user's mom and dad are in a polycule relationship with a 27-year-old man who has been referred to as 'Dave' in the social-media post. Licensed sex therapist Lori Lawrenz defines a polycule relationship as being a "network of consensually non-monogamous relationships that are all connected to each other."
"I've always been mildly uncomfortable with [the relationship] just due to a variety of features about the whole thing," the Reddit user wrote in his viral post.
"For starters the man is as young as I am and he now basically lives in my former bedroom. I don't say anything about it as it's their life and they can live it as they like but, and I'll be completely honest here, all of it discomforts me."
"I am getting married soon and I wanted my parents to be there. Then my significant other and I got to arranging the wedding and the seating. I wanted to run my seating plan by my parents, so I emailed it to them and asked them to look it over. They looked it over and then called me to complain that I had missed a seat for Dave," the poster added.
The Reddit user wrote in the post that he swiftly told his parents that he didn't think Dave would be coming.
He recalled the frosty conversation: "They said they would be all coming and I said I'm not sure if it's a good idea. They were insistent, so I was frank with them. I told them that I was uncomfortable with Dave coming and that I wanted to share my special day with them, not Dave.
"At this point, things took a turn for the worse. We had a back and forth which basically devolved into a fight," the Reddit user wrote.
"Eventually, they basically said they'd much rather just not come if they couldn't come as a couple. I, in a moment of anger, then said "great, then don't come" in a passive aggressive tone," he added.
The groom-to-be ended his post by revealing that he had not spoken to his parents since the argument over Dave's attendance.
"I want them to come but if they want to bring Dave, I much rather they just don't. I love them but I don't want Dave there."
Expert Verdict: The Parents Should Respect His Boundaries
Dr. Carole Lieberman is a forensic psychiatrist based in New York. She told Newsweek that the Reddit user's parents were wrong for refusing to compromise for their son's wedding.
"His parents are being unreasonable," Lieberman said. "It would clearly be an awkward distraction from your special day if they brought Dave. The man deserves to have a wedding that focuses on the love and commitment between him and his spouse, and not a day for his parents to show off their lifestyle.
"They are threatening to spoil the day. If Dave comes, then the groom-to-be will be looking over his shoulder trying to see how they are introducing him to guests. If they tell the truth, he will be embarrassed. If his parents decide that they won't come without Dave, then he will have to explain why his parents aren't at his wedding," Lieberman added.
What Do the Comments Say?
Since it was shared to the social-media platform on August 2, the Reddit post has been upvoted by 94 percent of the users that engaged with it and commented on over 5,000 times. The groom-to-be has been supported by Reddit users in his decision to restrict Dave from attending the small wedding, where only 53 people have been invited.
"If this is the hill they want to die on then let them. Its your wedding they should respect your boundaries," one user wrote.
"If he finds his parent's relationship with this young man distasteful then so be it, that's his choice. It's also his choice to not want the 3 of them together at his wedding," another added.
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Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
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